Phantom News...
Keep your finger on the Phantom pulse.

Old News (August 03 to December 08)... So what did I miss?
7 December 08. Phantoms (& FFP) Aid Credit Crunch!... 41 songs for a fiver! That's much better than a measly 2.5% VAT cut! Read all about the Phantoms final gig of the year on the gig#40 page. Photos (& video clips!) to follow soon!

Thank You!... A massive thank you to everyone who has come along to see us over the last 12 months. It has been a trying year for the band with numerous enforced line up changes and your continued support has been greatly appreciated. We hope normal service will be resumed in 2009! Talking of next year...

Phantoms Christmas Message... Merry Christmas & a happy new year to you all! See you in 09...
21 November 08. Clocking Up The Air Miles!... Little Bri is now in Morocco! Blimey. He gets around!
20 November 08. Where's Brian Takes Off!... Little Bri's been to America!
Swamp (Ph)ever!... See the latest entry in the Phar Away Phan T-Shirt Competition. Finally a legitimate entry - although it's not actually that far away!
Sing-a-long-a-Phantoms!... The 'Sing' section of the website has now been updated with the new tunes the Phants will be performing at their (ph)inal gig of the year in only 2 weeks time (Sat 6th Dec). Get practicing and we will see you soon!
11 November 08. Big Issue!... Ever wondered what the other half of the Phants old support act, ‘The Woodcut Process’ has been getting up to since the Big Man left to pursue his love of penguins? Well, Gons (with the aid of Dave ‘the harmonica’ Lambert) can be found doing the busking blues at Waterloo Underground Station this Saturday (15th Nov) from 12 till 2. Got any spare change mister?
4 November 08. With a little help from our friends!... The eagerly awaited photos of Phant Lite™ (plus special guests), taken during the last gig at the Grey Horse can now be found via the ‘Pics’ link on the gig#38 page. Sorry for the delay! Thanks to Phant Phan Jean for some of the photos.
31 October 08. Where’s Brian?... Little Bri’s been spotted shopping again!
Phantom Camel?!... See the latest entry in the Phar Away Phan T-Shirt Comp. Can someone please send in a valid entry. We have now had to disqualify the last 5 submissions!
Rehearsals Resume… Your (ph)avourite band will soon be back in the rehearsal room in preparation for our final gig of the year on 6th Dec. We are currently arguing about which new songs to learn so if you have any burning suggestions, now’s the time to tell us!
Message Board… It looks like the Phantoms message board is under attack again! Let’s hope the Dr can fix this soon!
Cider from a Lemon?!... Finally, yet another question that has been bugging the Phantoms for ages has been answered! Excerpt from Grant Nicholas interview in the Metro
Have you written any lyrics you’ve been embarrassed by? Of course, the obvious one is Buck Rogers. It was originally written for another band but, if it hadn’t been so quirky, it wouldn’t have been such a big hit. The lyrics were a bizarre little flashback to growing up. The ‘sucking cider from a lemon’ stuff was about when I was growing up - I’d want the alcohol I was drinking to taste sweet, so I mixed cider with lemonade. We didn’t play it for a long time but it gets a great response at festivals. So there you go!
3 October 08. Careful! You could have your eye out with those!... Check out the pics from the bands appearance last weekend, now on the gig#39 page. Also photos form the last Grey Horse gig imminent!
29 September 08. Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, B... Have you ever (ph)antasised about seeing Daisy Duke grinding on the dance floor with Princess Leia? Well I bet you wish you had offered to roadie for us last Friday now! The eagerly awaited pics will be on the gig#39 page very soon!
24 September 08. Where’s Wally Bri?... It’s time for a new phantoms competition! Hooray! All you have to do is print out ‘little Bri’, stick him somewhere interesting/amusing, take a photo & send it into Phantom central. Some sort of tatty prize will eventually be awarded to the best entry. As you can see, little Bri has already started his adventures!
23 September 08. Baby Monkey!... Richard (our Northern roadie) and his lovely wife Gill, are pleased to announce the arrival of Aaron James Lomas, born at 5.55am on Monday 15th September, weighing in at 7lbs 15oz. In the words of the proud father “t’kid is reet perfect!” Does that mean it’s not ginger?
Jazz Pizza!... If you like Jazz with your Pizza then today is your lucky day! Ex-Phantom Helen will be launching her debut album ‘You Go To My Head’ tonight at the Pizza Express in Dean Street, Soho at 9PM. We recommend a nice Quattro Formaggi with your Digby Fairweather!
Can you hear the drums Fernando!... Here’s Jools latest entry in the Phar away phan t-shirt competition supposedly posing with a famous racing driver in Paris! Surely this is the most dubious entry to date! He’s obviously posing next to a cardboard cut-out in front of a poster on his bedroom wall! You decide. Plus the Phants drummer at the new Wembley obviously so excited his head seems to have exploded!
16 September 08. Phantoms Threesome!... Despite some last minute setbacks the remaining Phants saved the day (just)! Read all about another epic night in Phantom history on the gig#38 page. Photos to follow soon.
8 September 08. Stop Thief!... Check out this website we have just found on the internet. Does the book cover on the right look familiar to you! The Phantoms copyright lawyers are looking into this matter as we speak!
3 September 08. Ready For Action!... After a phantastic rehearsal last night all is looking good for the Phants next gig at the Grey Horse in Kingston on Saturday 13th September (see gig#38), with the new song sounding especially impressive! The Phans are also gearing up for action too! It has already been confirmed that one Phan is jetting in all the way from Zurich especially for the gig while another branch of the Phan club have even hired a bus to deposit them at the venue in style! I hope it picks them up again!
Is he, or isn’t he?... Dying his hair? Probably! Leaving the band? I’m afraid so! Back in February of this year we announced that Paul would be temporarily hanging up his bass in order to concentrate on impending fatherhood. Unfortunately (for us!) he has now decided to make this arrangement slightly more permanent than originally thought! On behalf of the band & all his adoring Phans we would like to wish him well for the phuture & thank him for all his contributions to the Phantoms cause during his 7 years behind the bass. His discipline is already being greatly missed! STOP PRESS… With Nov (ex Phantom keyboard wizard – now promoted to bass duties) absent, Paul will be temporary rising like a Phoenix from the flames to help the band out for a private gig on 26th Sept. So if all you adoring Paul Phans want to get in to see this exclusive event - we could do with a few roadies!
18 August 08. Phantoms Play Whilst Feltham Burns!... After a great rehearsal yesterday (despite nearly being smoked out as Feltham burned around us!) the band are looking forward to our next gig at the Grey Horse in Kingston in only a few weeks time (see the gig#38 page for details). We've even got a new song to try out on you!
5 August 08. Moonlighting Phantoms!... Here’s a photo of a band called ‘10 O’clock Curfew’ performing recently in a field somewhere in deepest darkest Cambridgeshire. Do a couple of the band look familiar to you? Maybe they should change their name to ‘The Cur(ph)ew’!

   10 O'Clock Cur(ph)ew!

7 July 08. (Ph)ace ache!... Check out the state of the Phantoms bass player after getting beaten up by his own 9 year old son over the weekend! Ouch! Hopefully he will have regained his ravishing good looks by the time the band next take to the stage in a few months time (at the Grey Horse in Kingston on Sat 13th September).

   Ouch! Don't mess with the Phantoms!

3 July 08. Where’s Wally!... Can you spot the Phantom in this picture of the Glastonbury Festival pyramid stage mosh pit that was shown on BBC TV last weekend?

   Where's Wally?

Yes, it’s Al Phantom (in a silly hat!). This is obviously the closest the Phantoms will ever get to playing at Glastonbury!

   There he is!

2 July 08. Phantom Phan in Suicide Shock!... It's hard to believe this is only the first time one of the Phans has tried to end it all after watching the Phantoms play live! Pix and all the gory details on the gig#37 page.
18 June 08. Phant Gig Imminent!... See you all on Saturday! Don't forget to get there early! You don't want to miss our phantstic new support band. See the gig#37 page for all the latest details.
2 June 08. A (Ph)airy Tale!!... It’s the Phants new bass player on his hols in (Ph)lorida! With the Phantoms recent run of ill health I’m pleased to say he has returned home unscathed having managed to avoid being eaten by an alligator, capped in a drive-by or sat on by a fat Floridian! Phew! It’s a tough world out there!
30 May 08. Phit Phantoms!... So, it’s been the usual run up to a Phantom gig with two band members making recent unexpected visits to the ER! But don’t worry! All is now well (I hope!). With kidney failure & suspected heart attacks now resolved, the Phants are back in the rehearsal room practicing hard for the next gig at the Grey Horse in just 22 days time. See you all then!
Phat Phantoms!... This recent newspaper article from the Walton Informer just proves that being in the Phantoms is not good for your health! The first pic of ex band mate Helen was taken during our fourth gig on 7th Dec 2001.
19 May 08. Fanny Big!... That's got your attention! When will the Phantoms realise they are not allowed to enter their own competition!!
16 May 08. New Record Set!... Kirsten’s Australian record broken! See new leader Fi pictured (in NZ) very close to the holy grail in the Phar away phan t-shirt competition.
24 April 08. Arctic Monkeys Phantoms!... See the Phants drummer's latest entry in the Phar Away Phan T-shirt Comp! Very impressive - but still disqualified!
Doesn't Time Fly!... It's now less than two months till your phavourite covers band take to the stage for their first gig of the year. The new (old!) bassist has mastered the Phantoms extensive back catalogue & the boys are currently busy rehearsing 3 brand new songs to try out on the Kingston crowd. Usual details on the gig#37 page.
7 April 08. So What Songs Do You Guys Play?... Hopefully the new poster for gig#38 (back at the Grey Horse on 13th Sept) will stop new Phans continually asking our doorman this question at every gig!
Hells Bells!... See Ex Phantom Helen at the Bell Pub in Hampton on Wednesday 16th April. She’s even promised to do a Beatle’s cover! Fantastic!
Phantom wetsuit required!... With the competition hotting up recently in the Phar Away Phantom t-shirt competition we thought we would do a bit of investigation into exactly how far away it is possible to get your photo taken from Phantom Central. Well, you are going to need a (bigger!) boat to have your picture taken on the opposite side of the world (51˚26’31”S, 179˚35’20”E), a massive 12,450 miles away! This point is 124 miles SSE of the nearest bit of dry land which is ‘Antipodes Island’ in the South Pacific, or 555 miles SE of New Zealand. Now there’s a challenge! Who's up for it?
31 March 08. Bouncy Castle!... Congrats to Phantom bass player Paul & partner Chelle on the birth of their daughter, Lily Elizabeth on 22nd March. Mother & baby are well, although we are not sure about the father after his recent hip replacement! Rumours are now rife that the Phantoms are so desperate for a crowd that they are breeding their own audience!

Arhhhhhhhhh! Woo hoo!
    Lily Elizabeth, born 22.3.08, 6.53am, 5½lb.

Threesome!... See the first ever threesome entered in the Phar Away Phan T-shirt Comp!
18 March 08. Phantoms name up in lights!... See the new poster for the band's next live appearance (21st June) on the gig#37 page.
Woodcut gig!... If you can't wait 95 days to see your (ph)avorite band, then how about this instead! Join the Woodcut Process for a relaxing Bank Holiday Monday evening of acoustic tracks at the Grey Horse in Kingston. This will be their last pub event before Jason ventures on his solo tour of the Falklands. 24th Match, 7PM, front bar, FREE ENTRY! With special guests! Don’t worry, it’s not Mark & Al doing their Proclaimers impressions again!
Down Under Phan!... Kirsten sets new distance record in the Phar Away Phan T-shirt Comp!
11 March 08. Phants (Phantom Pants)!... Check out the latest Phantoms merchandise to hit the shops! Be one of only two lucky ladies to own a pair of extremely limited edition ‘Phants’! Hurry while stocks last! By the way, if anyone out there (obviously girl Phans only!) would like to ‘model’ them for a future Phantom gig poster that would be much appreciated!
21 February 08. HNY!... A belated happy new year from all the Phantoms.
New Bass Player!... With Paul taking a break from bass duties during the first half of the year (due to impending fatherhood & hip operations - in that order) the 5 piece Phantoms next live appearance will be at the Grey Horse in Kingston on Saturday 21st June. That should hopefully give our keyboard player enough time to learn a new instrument! Unfortunately Melissa Auf Der Maur, Hilary Woods & Charlotte Cooper were all unavailable! But don’t worry all you Paul Phans out there! He plans to be back in the fold in time for our last two planned gigs of 2008.
New Support Band!... Also with our regular support act imminently emigrating to the Falkland Islands, we have a fantastic new support band lined up for you at our next gig. Fellow Pheltham band ‘Fit For Purpose’ are hard at work rehearsing a set packed full of cutting edge indie hits to unleash at what will be their debut pub gig. How exciting!
Phar Away Phantom!... Check out Al’s Phar East adventures.
17 December 07. Children... Lollypops!... Photos of the bands final appearance of the year now available on the gig #36 page.
Merry Christmas... And a happy new year! See you in 2008...
5 December 07. Attendance Record Shattered Yet Again!... A massive thank you to all the 152 Phans who came to see the Phantoms final gig of the year! Read all about the evenings events on the gig #36 page. Photos to follow soon!
More Phantoms on YouTube!... Missed Saturdays gig? Well click here to see clips of the stage invasion during 'Common People' or Al belting out 'All The Small Things', both recorded live during the Phants appearance at The Grey Horse Pub in Kingston back in September of this year.
Have Your Say!... In order to maintain our position as Felthams premier covers band we are keen to get your feedback. We would very much appreciate it if you could fill in this questionnaire and send your comments back to Phantom central. Try not to be too rude! All entries received will be entered into a prize draw and the lucky winner will not only win a limited edition Phantoms badge but a pair of tickets to the gig of their choice. Wow!
By Popular Demand!...
As Phantom gigs regularly attract a horde of hotties we are often asked..."When are you gonna have a 'Phit Phans' page on your website?" Well if that's what you want!! Please send in your photos, clad in phant t-shirts (or without, which would be much more pleezing!) and we will publish your pics! The hottest Phan will receive a suitable prize!
See You Next Year!... Thanks for all your support over the last 12 months and we look forward to seeing you all sometime next year.
We are all now off to become Uncles! How exciting!
7 November 07. I Just Can’t Get Enough!… If you can’t wait till 1st December to see the Phantoms trusty support band, the Woodcut Process, you can catch them playing their own gig in the Front Bar of the Grey Horse on Friday 16th November 7-9pm - Come along entry is Free and you don't have to leave the bar to listen!
5 November 07. Advance Traffic Warning!… As this photo shows, its good to see Richmond Council are taking the problem of congestion caused by Phantom gigs at the Grey Horse very seriously! May I suggest car sharing!

    Phantoms cause traffic havoc!

Xmas starts here!... Talking of gigs at the Grey Horse, it’s now only 26 days to go till your (ph)avourite band’s final appearance of 2007! We look forward to seeing you!
Don’t mess with the Phantoms!... After recently reporting the Phantoms imminent court date with the despicable Thrifty Car Hire (based at St. Giles Hotel, Feltham) I am pleased to announce that the threat of court action was too much for them to bear and they have now refunded our money! Hooray! Shifty Car Hire seems more apt!
31 October 07. Phantoms, Live in 2008!... See our confirmed gig dates for next year in the 'Gigs' section. It's never too early to get these dates in your diary!
Brian's Real Band
!... Check out angelfield's swan song (or should that be manatee song?) on YouTube.
22 October 07. Phestive Phantoms!... The Phantoms kick off the Christmas Season at the Grey Horse on Saturday 1st December. We are hard at work rehearsing a load of new songs and look forward to seeing you all in just over a months time!
New Phantom t-shirts… If you want a new Phantom t-shirt to qualify for free entry at the next gig then get your order in now…
It's Hip to be Square!... Yet another Phantom joins the injury list! For the last few months our bass player has been suffering from a nasty ache in the groinal region! After numerous trips to various Dr’s & Acupuncturists he has finally been diagnosed by a top Harley Street physician to have been walking around with a cracked hip for the last three months! And he’s no idea how he did it! Get well soon mate. And talking of our bass player…
Congratulations!... The Phantoms are going to be Uncles! Paul & partner Michelle have proudly announced they are to become parents late March/early April next year! Wow! If the last two news items are remotely connected then it must have been one hell of a conception to break your hip!! Nice work!
Cartoon Capers!... Colin & Julie straight into the top ten! See entry number's 22 & 23 in the ever popular Phar Away Phan T-shirt Competition!
Crimes against music!... The Phantoms are going to court! We will soon be entering into Legal action against the despicable Thrifty Car Hire (based at St. Giles Hotel, Feltham). After returning a hire car recently they charged us £409.37 to repair two tiny paint chips in the bumper! Can you see £400 of damage in this photo? You have been warned!
Read all about it!... Our media smear campaign against Thrifty Car Hire began in earnest last weekend when the whole sorry tale was published in Honest John's agony column in the Telegraph motoring section! Next step, the Hounslow Informer! Don't worry if you missed it! You can see the article (under the heading 'Park Scratchings') on the Telegraph website.
2 October 07. Hot Pics!… Photos of the bands last appearance at the Grey Horse now available on the gig #35 page.
Nice Hooters!... Bully e
xtends his lead in the Phar Away Phan T-shirt Comp!
Could it be magic?... Find out which Phantoms favourite band is Take That in the new look updated Meet the Phantoms section!
19 September 07. Git yer kit off!… Meltdown at the Grey Horse! Read all about the Phantoms attendance busting last live appearance on the gig #35 page. Photos to follow soon!
Return of the King!... See the 9th entry in the Phant Logo Comp.
Logo possibly inspired by a photo of our lead singer pictured first thing in the morning!
Pensioners in the mosh pit!... The Phans latest kind (and amusing!) words on the updated quotes page.
6 September 07. Girls & Boys!… There's now only a mere 9 days to go till the Phantoms eagerly awaited gig at the Grey Horse in Kingston (see the gig #35 page for more details). We are expecting a MASSIVE crowd for this one so ensue you get there early!
Unremarkable t-shirts!... As we are offering free entry to the December gig if wearing a Phantoms t-shirt, it's only fair to give you the opportunity to buy the latest design! Orders being taken at the gig on Sept 15th.
KKK!... Check out the latest entry in the Phant Logo Comp. I thinks it's meant to be a sinister ghost but it looks more like a member of the KKK to me!
Glossy Phantoms!... Check out the 'Posters' page in the Stuff section to see the latest creation (which also happens to make phantastic
PC wallpaper)!
Rival Gig!... Normally we would wholeheartedly encourage you to support any of our fellow Pheltham band mates but I'm not so sure this time round! The 'Millers' have only gone and arranged a gig for the same evening as The Phantoms! What were they thinking? It's like Blur vs Oasis all over again!
22 August 07. Bri sets the standard!… See the gig #35 page for details. Obviously Brian forgot that being in the band meant he would get in the gig for free anyway! Idiot! Hope to see the rest of you tattooed up (don't worry, they wash off!) at the Grey Horse in only 3 weeks time. By the way, the new songs are sounding great in rehearsal!
Competition hotting up!... Another 3 new entries received in the Phar Away Phan T-shirt Comp! See the photos in Parts 6 and 7 of this ever popular feature! Also check out who’s winning in the current standings. Come on the rest of you, surely someone is off to
Australia sometime soon!
Big Scary Ogre!... See the ‘Meet’ section for new biography of Roadie #4.
Phantoms!... More kind words on the updated quotes page.
6 August 07. Phantoms caught 'Sharking'!... Amusing pix from the bands last gig now available from the gig#34 page (in the 'gigs' section). Watch out for the amorous Ogre!
30 July 07. Stockport Dagger!... Epic events from the Phants appearance at wedding of Northern roadie! See the gig#34 page in the 'gigs' section for all the details! It was the most entertaining, enjoyable, funny 3 days we've had in ages… Pics to follow soon!
Can I be in your band?..
Click here to see the latest Celebrity to be caught on camera stalking the Phantoms!
47 days & counting... With all the bands 'private parties' now out of the way, you only have a month and a half to wait till your phavourite covers band are back at the Grey Horse in Kingston. Can't wait!
24 July 07. You put your left leg in, your left leg out, etc, etc... See the 'Gig Pics' link on the gig#33 page (in the 'gigs' section) for photos from the Phantoms last party gig. Ooohhh, the okey cokey!
Are You The Caterers?... What’s the best thing on the internet? No, not “artistic” pics of ginger girls but FACEBOOK (of course)! The Phants, always on the bleeding edge of new technologies, already have a presence. If you’re part of this global phenom, click here to go straight to “Are You The Caterers”, the group for all things PHANT! If you’re not already registered then you’re obviously a luddite loser, but fear not, it’s not too late to join! Click (if you understand what that means) here to sign up (a future 24 hour online addiction guaranteed!)...
23 July 07. Who ate all the Pizza?... Guest vocalists, tiny dancers, balloon fights and much more... Read all about the one and only appearance of the slimmed down Phantom 5 piece line up on the gig#33 page in the 'gigs' section!
The Peatcut Process!… New support band required! The lead singer of the Phants regular support act, The Woodcut Process, has informed us that he will be taking a break from folk music for 6 months when he goes Penguin spotting in the Falkland Islands early next year! That sounds fun! As a result, until Jason returns, the Woodcut’s drummer has promised to lend a hand with ‘Bez’ style percussion for the Phantoms. I can’t wait to see that! Have you seen him dance!!!
10 July 07. The Number of the Beast!... Hard proof the Phantoms are in league with the devil! Guess how many songs the band have now performed live over their 32 gigs to date? That’s right… 666! Read into that what you will!
Si gets wicked on the decks! Spooky!
The Woodcut Process...
Our phaithful support act will again be playing their own headline gig in the front bar of the Grey Horse, Kingston on the Friday 10th August 07 (7 to 9PM). Please come & cheer them on!
Next Phantom gig... The Phants are busy playing a few private parties over the next few weeks but will be back at the Grey Horse in about 2 months time (on Saturday 15th September to be exact). See gig#35 in the 'gigs' section for more details. The word is out that we are already expecting a big (tattooed?) crowd for this one!
All things Ginger...
See the latest web link on the 'Misc' page. It's like you've died and gone to Ginger heaven! Check out red head of the year 2000! Phwor!
7 June 07. A Sight for Sore Eyes!... Photos of the last gig (courtesy of resident photographer, Paul Baden) now available on the gig#32 page (in the gigs section).
Sex, Drugs and Rock & Roll... See the latest entry in the Phantoms Logo Competition.
5 June 07. Knobbly Knees!… The Phantoms finally kicked off 07 with one of the most enjoyable gigs we have ever done in front of a most pleasing crowd! See gig#32 in the 'gigs' section for more details. As usual, photos to follow soon.
18 May 07. Only 15 days to go!… The long wait is nearly over! Your phavourite covers band will soon be back at the Grey Horse playing their first 'public' gig of 2007. See gig#32 in the 'gigs' section for all the details. Can't wait to see you all!
Karaoke Phantoms!... The band have mastered a huge 5 new songs for our next gig so check out the 'sing' section for the words and join in on 2nd June. We especially look forward to hearing you all adding vocal support to new song 'Angry Mob'!
Hot hemp plant sham!... Month has pamphlet!
Hemp plant has moth! What!!!! Well, these are all apparently anagrams of 'Pheltham Phantoms'. Let us know if you can think of any more! Nothing too rude please!
24 April 07. Got the Funk?… Fellow Feltham band ‘Fused’ will be playing the Grey Horse on Sunday 20th May. More details here. Go check 'em out!
18 April 07. Knowhere!… More Phantom magic on the internet. Read what people have to say about Feltham and then check out the link to ‘Local Bands’. I’ve never heard of ‘Wendys Lost Boys’ but can’t wait to see ‘Lou and the Chavvy McChavs’! This is what they have to say about the Phants local boozer… ‘Then there is the General Roy - Probably the best pub in Feltham - out of the way of the scummy estates, round the back of cineworld - as a result, the few normal people in Feltham (relatively) gather here. OK for a drink without the threat of violence. Any other pub in Feltham - forget it! (fight, stab, kill etc.)’ Quite an accurate review then!
Unremarkable people!... After only half a day the Phants new Wikipedia page has been removed by a site administrator! Apparently it was deleted under the following clause: Unremarkable people, groups, companies and web content. An article about a real person, group of people, band, club, company, or web content that does not assert the importance or significance of its subject. The Phantoms, unremarkable & insignificant! Sounds like he's seen us play! According to the administrators page (Redvers) on Wikipedia he is both gay & Welsh! With two of the Phantom band members being either gay or Welsh you would have thought he would have been a bit more supportive! We urge all you Phans out there to bombard this individual with emails informing him of his gross error on the significance of Feltham's finest covers band!
18 April 07. Phants in Cyberspace… Wikid! You can now read all about your phavourite covers band on Wikipedia, the free internet encyclopedia!
Not to be outdone, the UK's biggest internet guide to live entertainment also now has a page dedicated to the Phantoms!
Logomania!... Yet another new entry in the Phantoms Logo Competition.
13 April 07. Friday 13th!... An apt day to receive this cool new entry in the Phantoms Logo Competition. Nice work Jemma!
13 April 07. We are the Angry Mob!... So, with only 50 days to go, the Phantoms have been rehearsing hard over the last few weeks mastering another 4½ new songs (yes, 4½!) for the bands next gig at the Grey Horse on 2nd June. I bet you can’t wait! See the gig 32 page for more details.
Hello Ladies!… At last, some girls (not Jools!) have entered the Phar Away Phan T-shirt Comp! See their entries in Part 6 of this ever popular feature!
Sore Throat!... Check out this quote from Ex-Phantom Helens new website ( “Moving to
London in the 1980s, Helen joined the South Kensington Women's classical choir and performed at the Queen Elizabeth Hall on the South Bank before taking a leap in the opposite direction and becoming a rock chick with award winning West London based covers band the Phantoms. After three years of shouting, Helen decided to return to her first love – JAZZ”… 'Three years of shouting'! Cheeky mare! Better high quality shouting than coma inducing jazz! You decide…
13 March 07. Woodcuts Headline… If you can't wait 81 days till the next Phantoms gig, then maybe this will do! Our phaithful support act, the Woodcut Process will be playing their own headline gig in the front bar of the Grey Horse, Kingston on the Saturday 24th March 07, between 7 & 9PM. Free entry! See you there!
Mon the
Phantoms!... If you are a Fratellis fan, or Scottish, this may mean something to you! Anyway, click here to see what the (Northern) Phans have been sending in! Come on the Phantoms!
6 March 07. Picture Perfect!... For nearly 3 years now we have been promising a ‘phantastic prize’ as an incentive for entering the ‘Phar Away Phan T-shirt Competition’ and I’m pleased to announce that we’ve finally got one! Click here for details of the extremely limited edition Phantom art print (signed by the photographer) that is up for grabs. So keep those entries coming in…
Confessions of a Keyboard Player!... Phantom in Milli Vanilli shock! The following confession has just come to light regarding the Phantoms Grey Horse gig on 2nd Dec 06… “Well, I have very little to do on that song [Song 2]. Consequently I hardly ever bother to practice it at home coz it's so easy. That is until you come to play it to 130 nutters in a pub and can't remember what the heck to play! So, I turned the keyboard right down and did my best Fletch (Depeche Mode) impression all the way through! Shocking, but true!” Obviously our keyboard player will be returning his Brit award and would like to apologise for any hurt he may have caused!!
16 February 07. Phan Requests... We've read all your suggestions for new Phantom covers posted on our message board...and ignored them! Instead we have chosen 6 new songs that we like and hope to have mastered by the time we next see you all at the Grey Horse in June.
14 February 07. The Phantoms at No.10!... Yes, really! Photographic evidence in the latest picture gallery on the gig#31 page (in the gigs section).
The View from the Keyboard
... And while you are there, read our keyboard players more 'in-depth' write up of events.
We love you, yeah, yeah, yeah!... Oh, and Happy Valentines Day from all of the Phantoms! We love you guys!
9 February 07. Do you do any Bee Gees?... Read all about the recent goings on in 'the vault' in the gigs section on the gig#31 page. Photos to follow soon.
Hip hip hooray!... Check out your latest comments on the updated quotes page.
Another day, another girl!... See posters for the next two Grey Horse gigs (in the gigs section) which feature pics of the Phantom phront mans latest conquests! Good work Mark! You rule.
30 January 07. HNY... Hope you all had a phantastic Christmas & are looking forward to yet another Phantom philled year!
T Minus 123!... With the Phants next performance being an exclusive invite only affair I'm afraid all you loyal phans will have to wait till June for our first appearance at the Grey Horse in 07 (see gigs section for details). At least we should have learnt a few new songs by then! Drop us a line on the 'message board' with all your requests (for songs)!!
Walk Like an Egyptian... Check out the latest burst of offerings in Part 5 of the Phar Away Phan T-Shirt Competition!
22 December 06. Widescreen Phantoms!... As promised, the pics from our final gig of the year are now available in the gigs section on the gig#30 page. As usual, a big thank you to our resident photographer, Paul Baden, for the photos.
Ho ho ho!... Merry Christmas & a happy new year from all the Phantoms. See you next year!
9 December 06. Phull Up!!... A question for all our loyal phollowers - what's the biggest thing about The Phants? Our Egos? Our Website? Or something else?? Well, at the moment it seems to be the website, as anyone who's been (excited / bored enough) to try and post on the message board might have found out - the "Kensal Rise Tornado" of recent messages (errrr) causing the site to hit the size buffers and almost explode!!!! Luckily our "crack IT team" have cured the problem by a phestive Xmas cull of the old photo galleries (boo hoo). Don't despair, though, as someone with more time / patience than me is rumoured to be producing a "Best Of The Best" from the expired pix. Also forthcoming (assuming that our IT team aren't literally on crack) is <fanfare>The Phantoms MySpace Extravaganza!!</fanfare>... only 'cos "every decent band has one!"..... don't hold your breath though!
5 December 06. Give It Some Welly!... Read all about the Phantoms fantastic final gig of the year in the gigs section (photos to follow). Thanks for all your support and we look forward to seeing you all in 2007!
All I Want For Christmas is a Phantoms Badge!... There are only a few Limited Edition Phantom badges left if you were unlucky enough not to get yours at the last gig. They make the ideal Christmas present for any Phantom Phan! Hurry while stocks last!
South Park Phantoms...
Click here. Does this lot remind you of anyone?
9 November 06. Phantoms Badge-a-thon!... Select the 'glitter ball' from the Stuff section to see the vast array of new badges produced to commemorate the bands groundbreaking 30th gig at the Grey Horse on 2nd December. These will be available on the night from the merchandise stall, but hurry as only 4 of each design are available!
7 November 06. Nice Tats!... Are you a hard core Phantom Phan? Show your allegiance to the band by taking this template along to your local tattoo artist and getting it etched into your flesh (artists impression above)! The first Phan to do so will win free entrance to all our future gigs - ever! That's good reason to disfigure yourself for life if ever I heard one!
Straight To Video!…
What's that coming over the hill, is it a Phantom? Check out the band playing 'Monster' live at our September Grey Horse Rockfest. If you're viewing this page on the internet click here! If you have technical difficulties with that, try this version. Much appreciation to CameraGirl (aka Miss Jones) for making (most of us) look vaguely cool. There's also a rumour going round that she may be up for the modelling role (see below) - we await confirmation with excitement!
24 October 06. Pheltham High Street Honeyz!… The Phantoms require an ‘uninhibited’ phemale phan to pose for Phant07 publicity material. Can all willing applicants please get in touch with a member of the band? A curvy figure would be preferable – no skinny birds please! Complete discretion assured. We promise the finished product will be extremely artistic & not at all mucky!
Busted!... Rehearsals are now underway for our final gig of the year with another couple of new songs on the production line. For those of you who ever wondered what a phrantic phantom rehearsal looks like, click here. The word is out that a big crowd is expected for this one so we look forward to seeing you in December and don’t forget to wear your Phantom t-shirt for free entry!
Pheltham Idle!... If you would like to see our singer Mark (the Karaoke King) enter the prestigious local ‘Feltham Idol’ competition, then please petition him on our message board.
Phantoms Phranchise… The Phantoms are taking over the planet! As well as the UK based Cheesy Cover Phantoms that you all know and love, there is also a New York Dance Band Phantoms, a Boston Punk Phantoms and even a Russian Rockabilly Phantoms! We may have ended up a bit like the last lot if Skitz had stayed in the band (and we could all speak Russian!)
6 October 06. Ooh Betty!... Thanks to more great work by our resident photographer, Paul Baden, the photos of the Phantoms recent gig at the Grey Horse on 16th Sept are now available in the gigs section on the gig#29 page.
Phantom dates in 2007!... Also see the gigs page for details of our confirmed dates next year at the Grey Horse. That's plenty of warning to plan your holidays around your phavourite band's gigs!!
Jazztastic!... For those of you who have been following the exploits of ex-Phantom Helen, you can catch her Jazz stylings at the following venues over the next few months: Sun 15th Oct at the Waiting Rooms Pub, Isleworth, from 2.30 to 4.30; Tues 24th Oct at the Bull’s Head Pub in Barnes from 8.30 pm (with Digby Fairweather’s Half Dozen Band); Sat 4th Nov at the Ram Jam Club, Kingston, from 8.30pm (with the Digby Fairweather Quartet); Tues 21st Nov at the Bull’s Head Pub, Barnes, from 8.30pm (with the Digby Fairweather’s Half Dozen Band) and finally on Fri 15th Dec at the Ram Jam Club, Kingston, from 8.30pm (Christmas gig).
25 September 06. Hat's Off to the Phants... Third time lucky at the Grey Horse this year! Read all about the goings on in the gigs section (photos to follow soon).
'F**king brilliant!'... See what you had to say about the band's last performance on our quotes page.
13 September 06. The Show Must Go On!... You may have heard rumours about the sad state of the Phantoms health recently! Well, I'm afraid it's all true! Simon (lead guitar) has buggered his back up (possible slipped disk/serious spinal injury) and Al (drums) had cracked a rib!! But don't worry! Brian has kindly lent them some horse tranquilisers and mixed with a few pints of lager they should both be fine (if a bit numb!) for the upcoming gig on Sept 16th (IN ONLY 3 DAYS TIME!). Hope to see you all there.
3 for the price of 1!... See gig#29 in the 'gigs' section for details of the ever expanding line-up for the afore mentioned gig at the Grey Horse.
Karaoke Phantoms... I know you like nothing better than a good sing along with your phavourite band so the words to our new songs can now be found in the 'sing' section for you to start swatting up on. That's probably a good idea for our lead singer too!
15 August 06. Logo's are just like busses!... You wait three years and then four come along at once! Since launching the 'Design a New Phantom Logo Competition' back in August 03 we have not had a single entry, until now! Click here and let us know what you think!
Don who?... Click here for more Phantom celebrity stalking action.
Free Phantom Wallpaper!... Is your desktop a bit dull? Then click here to download your fantastic free Phantoms wallpaper. Big up to our tractor loving friend, Chris Player for his artistic wizardry!
Phantom Action!... See the gigs section for details of when & where you can see your favourite band in coming months.
31 July 06. What's that coming over the hill, is it a Phantom?... The next Grey Horse gig is on the horizon so the band are back in the rehearsal room and already have 2 great new songs in the bag (unfortunately still no Abba)! Hope to see you all there on the 16th September! See the gigs section for more details.
8 June 06. Picture Perfect... As promised, the photos of the Phantoms gig at the Grey Horse last weekend are now available from the gig#28 page. The band would like to say a huge thank you to Beast & Ciggy (aka Paul Baden & Chris Player) for their fantastic work! Top pics boys!
Ever Fallen in Love?... The band would like to offer their congratulations to our trusty Northern roadie, Rich Lomas who popped the question to his lovely girlfriend Jill Eccaslike after the Phantoms gig at the Grey Horse on Saturday. Does anyone know a good band for a wedding?...
5 June 06. My hump, my hump, my lovely lady lumps!... The Phantoms second appearance at the Grey Horse this year was a roaring success with the adoring masses again in fine voice. See the gigs section for more details (photos to follow soon). With expectations now at an all time high, the countdown has already started for the band's next appearance at our favourite venue on 16th September. So get your song requests into the message board ASAP (...but we are not doing 'My Humps'!)
Sunday Roast... Talking of the message board, the band would like to invite Emma along to our next rehearsal to discuss 'points' 'raised'!!
30 May 06. Screeeeeeeaammmm... Phantomania engulfs the Grey Horse this Saturday! After weeks of frenzied rehearsals the Phants new songs are sounding fantastic and as usual, top support is promised from The Woodcut Process (so get there early!) If you came along to the last Grey Horse gig, don't forget your loyalty card!
20 April 06. I'm so Dizzy!... The band are currently hard at work in the rehearsal room mastering some great new tracks and the results can be heard at our next live appearance in only 44 days time! Hope to see you all there! More details in the gigs section.
Message Board... Talking of new songs, if you have a phavourite you would love to hear the Phantoms play at a future gig, please let us know via our message board. Cool songs only! All requests for Genesis or Proclaimers covers will be ignored!
13 March 06. Galleries Galore!... See the gigs section for the eagerly awaited photos from the last Grey Horse gig on 24th Feb (gig#26) and our away day at Brampton on 2nd March (gig#27).
Not so phar away phan!... Possibly the worst entry in the Phar Away Phan T-shirt Competition to date! See what you think!
8 March 06. More Vital Statistics... It is often said that the band would be nothing without them, ...mainly by them! Anyway, as promised, profiles of the Phantoms faithful road crew are now available in the 'meet' section.
6 March 06. Carrot Crunchingly Good!... The tractor park was filled to overflowing as London (ph)lash rolled into town (Brampton) last Thursday to entertain our Phans in a specially arranged gig up t'North! All shotguns were handed in at the door as wives/sisters/cousins/sheep flocked into the venue. A great night then ensued and plenty of carrots were munched during the interval! Read all about it in the gigs section.
Come again!...
See the quotes page for what you have been saying about your phavourite band recently!
Phantoms at the Oscars!... Check out the latest entry in the Phar Away Phan T-shirt Competition!
Only 89 days to go!... The Phants next live appearance will be back at the Grey Horse in Kingston on Saturday 3rd June. See the gigs section for more details and don't forget your loyalty card!
Vital Statistics!... Find out everything you ever wanted to know about your phavourite phantom, and possibly a few things you didn't! Check out the updated band bio's in the 'meet' section. Info on the trusty Roadies to follow soon!
27 February 06. Music for the Masses!... All box office records were smashed on Friday as hoards of Phans packed into the Grey Horse to see the Phantoms first gig of the year. See the gigs section for more details.
Here we go again!... And for all those that were unable to make it to the Grey Horse, we are playing again in a mere 3 days time! Though you may have a bit further to travel!
3 February 06. The Phants of Power!... Here we go again! The bands first (of four) gigs at the Grey Horse in Kingston is now only days away (see the gigs section for all the details) and we have been hard at work over the last few weeks learning some new songs to unleash on the 24th Feb (as well as also trying to remember how to play the old ones!). Hope to see you there! Rumours are also rife that the Phantoms are going to be supported by the Proclaimers, or will it be just the NOTORIOUS B.I.G.(S.Y.) putting on a funny accent!
Talking of Support... For all of you northern Phans planning to see the band on the 2nd March at Brampton, we will now be joined on the bill by accomplished local musician Roger Henderson (who has been described to us as the 'New James Blunt'). Beautiful.
Chicken (McNuggets)!... Despite his best attempts to quit the band over the last few months (arm amputation and playing chicken with a double-decker bus), we are pleased to announce that our 'trendy' bass player will be completing the Phants line up at the next gig as usual! Phew!
19 December 05. More Celebrity Stalkers!... Look out Phantoms! Click here for more celebrity stalking action!
12 December 05. Celebrity Stalkers... With the Phants fame spreading, celebs have been queuing up to have their picture taken with a member of the band in a vain attempt to get back in the pages of 'Heat' magazine! Check out who's been stalking your phavourite Phantom recently here. Fantastic!
Happy Christmas... After an action packed 2005, on behalf of the band I would like to take this opportunity to thank you all for your continued support over the last year. We are already looking forward to the next 12 months with 4 dates at the Grey Horse already confirmed & we hope you can join us at one of these gigs. Merry Christmas & a happy new year. See you in 2006...
25 November 05. Backdoor boys (& girls)!... Without you we are nothing! The many stars of the Phantom's engine room are unmasked here. Thants all!
22 November 05. Horse business finalised (hopefully!)... There have been a few minor adjustments to the dates of the band's Grey Horse gigs for next year. See the gigs page for the latest listing.
8 November 05. They could be anywhere!... Click here for entry #10 in the 'Phar Away Phan T-shirt' competition.
Christmas in Jazz Land!... Details here of Ex-Phantom Helen's final appearance of the year at the Ram Jam Club.
7 November 05. Wedding Photos... See the gig#25 page for photos of the band at their last appearance.
Phantoms at the Phountain... To add to next years busy schedule, the Phantoms will again be traveling up North (well, this time as far as Huntingdon!) to play The Fountains Club, Brampton on Thursday 2nd March. Phans willing to accompany us on the journey will be rewarded with two sets packed full of Phantom Phavourites, a DJ before & after plus a late bar! Nice! See the gigs page for the full list of next years planned appearances.

Should this count?... Do you think our man in America's latest entry in the 'Phar Away Phan T-shirt' competition should be allowed? Click here to see!
27 October 05. 'One' to remember!... For those of you who were unlucky not to be there, read all about the band's memorable appearance entertaining the champagne addled guests at the wedding of long time Phantom Phan Louisa Seymour (now Keyworth) on the gig#25 page. It was a weekend the band will not forget in a very long time, especially Gibbo who rode all the way back to his posh hotel in Cambridge with his head between the groom's mother's legs! It was indeed, 'A Beautiful Day'!
The One(s) That Got Away... With the cancelled gig (at our previous 'favourite venue') still fresh in our minds, click here to see the story of the other one's that never quite made it!
20 October 05. Cock up!... Due to a gross administrative error, I'm afraid to say that the Phantoms imminent appearance at the Fighting Cocks has been cancelled! Apparently the pub double booked that night and gave our date away to a band called 'Papas in Love'!! Sorry to disappoint all the hoards of Phans who were planning to come & see us that night but please feel free to voice your disapproval on the Fighting Cock's message board here!
(Un)Stable Lads!... After being shunned by the Fighting Cocks, the band have decided to pledge their allegiance to 'arch rivals' the Grey Horse. So you will now be able to catch the Phantoms at this far superior venue on the following dates in 2006...Sat 25th Feb, Sat 3rd June, Sat 9th Sept & Sat 2nd Dec. More details to follow in our gigs section soon.
Young Offendaz... After the bands gig at Loughborough Uni, the following was recently reported on the CSSC website: "...people began to flock to the students' union, where the musical entertainment was provided by The Phantoms, from HMP Feltham Young Offenders Institute". Where did they get that idea from?... although a lot of people feel The Phants should be locked up for crimes against music, we're all far too old to be admitted to Pheltham's No. 1 Correctional Phacility.  Out of interest, is there an equivalent Institution for Bad Young Ladies? If so, we'll be playing there! 
More Fotos(?). Whilst on the subject of the Loughborough Uni gig, we have just been sent a load more photos from the 'official' photographer (who was sadly not from the NME!). See the 'More Gig Pics' link on the gig#24 page.
The perfect present - just in time for Christmas!... Hard core Phans are now in possession of their fantastic new Phantom t-shirts. If you missed the boat the first time round and desperately want one to give to your nearest & dearest this Christmas, there is still time for a second order. Click here for details of how to get your hands on what has turned out to be this seasons hottest fashion accessory! Hurry whilst stocks last!
3 October 05. Saved!... Due to the Phans overwhelming response to the 'Save Simon Appeal' launched back in July, Si has now decided he can't bring himself to leave his beloved Phantoms after all! To commemorate this occasion, here's a lovely arty pic of 'the ladies favourite' in action. Long may it continue. Nice!
30 September 05. Wrecked Again... The photo's are flooding in! See the gig#23 page for pictures of two thirds of the Phantoms phavourite support act (Halfcut) doing their thing at the Grey Horse a few weeks ago. If any of you ladies out there want the Bigg Man's phone number, let us know!
29 September 05. I Predict a Riot. Well, maybe not!... As promised, the eagerly awaited photos from Loughborough Uni are now available on the gig#24 page.
23 September 05. Full House at the Grey Horse!... See gig#23 for details & pics of the Phantoms triumphant return to the Grey Horse.
It's grim up North!... See gig#24 for details of the bands recent adventures up the M1! Pics to follow soon.
Everything is brilliant in Pheltham!...
Click here for details of how to get your hands on the latest piece of shoddy Phantom merchandise!
14 September 05. Barn Stormin'... See the (not so) useful links on the Misc. page for details of a website featuring country bumpkins and a strangely familiar looking bloke called Jonathan! I didn't know they had rock bands in the country? I thought they were far too busy hunting foxes and sleeping with members of their own family whilst crunching carrots!
12 September 05. 6 Days & counting... It's now only 6 days till the Phantoms eagerly awaited return to the Grey Horse in Kingston. The band are rehearsed & ready and have a shed load of new tunes to unleash to the massive! Word on the street is that we are expecting a very big crowd so ensure you get there early! See gig#23 for details.
Loughborough's looming!... For all you Northern Phantom Phans, next week will also see the band (& crew) bravely venture up t'frozen wastes especially for you! Loughborough is up North isn't it? See gig#24 for more details.
Feltham is Singing Out!... If any of you have bought the new album by those boy's from the Staines Ghetto, Hard-Fi, check out their ode to the Phantoms home town - track 9. Nice work!
Anthony or Brian?... Did any of you happen to see Anthony (& The Johnsons) picking up the Mercury Music Prize recently. Have you noticed that just like Clark Kent & Superman, you never see Brian Spencer & Anthony Johnson in the same room! Intriguing!
18 August 05. He's at it again too!... It's now a three horse race! To see our man in America's latest entry in the 'Phar Away Phan T-shirt' competition, click here. It is also strongly rumored that Dave is even traveling over especially to see his favourite band at one of our upcoming gigs this year. What a star!
9 August 05. She's at it again!... Ex-Phantom Helen is back at the Ram Jam Club on the 30th September. Click here for details.
4 August 05. Cock confirmed!... The date of the Phants last gig of the year has now been confirmed & we will definitely be back in the Cocks on Saturday 26th November. See the gigs section for full details.
Room 1(01)!... Back in January we reported that our big gig at the opening night of the CSSC Games (on Wednesday 21st September) would be in 'The Piazza'. Well, in order to fit in the expected 1000 strong crowd we have now been promoted to 'Room 1' of the Loughborough University Student Union. If you want to know what it looks like, visit their website here to see  pictures of some dodgy little Irish band playing there recently. See gig#24 for updated details. Also more info on the internet at
27 July 05. The Phutures Bright!... After the disappointment of the last cancelled gig, the band are now back rehearsing hard for a busy end of year. Check out the gigs section for more details.
Kirsty who?... It has now come to light that if you are making the long trip to Loughborough to see us (gig#24), you will also be treated to entertainment on the closing night from 2003 Pop Idol finalist Kirsty Crawford!! Who? (Is she that fat one?) Check out her website at
Read all about it!... Check out page 11 of the Summer edition of 'Leisure scene' magazine to read more about your favourite band. Note. Paul, Si & Gibbo singled out for individual pictures! Al, Bri & Nov were obviously deemed far too unsightly!
Don't go!... Rumours are rife that the Phants final gig of the year (see gig#26) will be original band member Simon's last appearance!! All Phans are asked to start the 'Save Simon Appeal' on the bands message board immediately!
3 May 05. Anniversary postponed!... I am sorry to report that the Phants 5th Anniversary gig planned for this Saturday at the Fighting Cocks (4th June) has been postponed due to the illness of one of the band. Apologies to all of you who had planned to come and see us but keep an eye out here for future news of the rescheduled date at the Cocks (when the 'Lemsips' have kicked in!).
More slander!... The home of the Phantoms is under attack yet again! Click here to see what was  unearthed by one of our Phans whilst reading a trashy novel on holiday recently.
You're too kind!... Quotes page updated (here) with your latest kind words.
20 April 05. Six of the Best!... Rehearsals are in full swing for the Phants first pub gig of the year with a massive six brand new songs currently in production! Hope to see you all at the Cocks in just over a months time!
Happy birthday to us!... It's just been pointed out to me that the gig at the Fighting Cocks on 4th June will mark the 5th Anniversary of the Phantoms since first appearing on the scene back in the June of 2000! Bloody hell! How did we last that long?
Jazzerific!... Click here for details of ex-Phantom Helen's third gig of the year at the Ram Jam Club.
Transvestite Phantom Phan!... Thought that would catch your attention! Click here to see the latest installment in the Jools vs Wayne 'Phar Away Phan T-shirt' competition. Jools is going to have to pull out all the stops to beat this picture of Wayne in a frock!
Phantoms in print!... Read all about your favourite band in the March edition of ‘The Mole’ (pages 13 to 15). A similar article is also soon to appear in those well known publications ‘Leisure Scene’ & ‘Focus’!
14 March 05. Phantoms in Prog Rock Shock... Last weekend saw the bands second gig of the year under the grandstand at London Irish Rugby Club celebrating the birthday of a Phantom/Genesis fan! She tried to talk us into covering 'Carpet Crawlers' especially for this occasion but the band were having none of it! Read all about it in the gigs section (gig#22).
All roads lead to Kingston... With a couple of party gigs under our belt this year it's now back to the pub for the Phants! Your next chance to see your favourite band will be at the Fighting Cocks in a few months time followed by our return to the Grey Horse. More details in the gigs section of the site.
Website updates... Check out the new & improved 'misc' section (link from the homepage). Featuring lots of good stuff (or various Phantom nonsense) depending on your point of view! Also the 'sing-a-long' section has been updated to include all our new songs (both of them!).
11 March 05. The heat is on... It's now neck & neck in the 'Phar Away Phan T-shirt' competition! Click here to see the latest exploits of Wayne Bull & his favourite t-shirt.
Jazz-a-thon... Round two! Click here for details of ex-Phantom Helen's next gig at the Ram Jam Club, Kingston. Nice...
9 February 05. As promised... Pics of the last gig now available from the 'Gig Pics' link on the gig#21 page.
8 February 05. 1st gig of the year in the bag... Featuring guest vocalists, new songs, auditions for new drummers, and much, much more! Read all about the Phantoms 1st appearance of 2005 at the private party of one of our most ardent 'phans' in the gigs section (gig#21). Photos of this gig to follow soon...
31 January 05. A bit of competition... Despite Jools submitting yet another entry in the 'Phar Away Phan T-shirt' competition, at last he has a rival for the prize! Click here to see Jools latest offering (very funny!) and here for 'the challenger's' entry.
28 January 05. Oops!... Having previously told you all about the Phantoms massive gig at Loughborough University Student Union, I'm sure you have all rushed to fill in your diaries and sort out your travel plans. Well unfortunately...I've got the date wrong, sorry! We will actually be appearing in 'The Piazza' on Wednesday 21st September (the opening night), and not the Thursday as reported below. See gig#25 for updated details.
26 January 05. Happy New Year... Hope you all had a great Christmas & are looking forward to a phantastic new year with the Phantoms. As you will see from the below, it's already shaping up as a busy one...
Gigs Ahoy!... The next few months will see the Phants performing at a string of exclusive invite only private parties. But do not fear loyal phan, as we also have a couple of pub gigs up our sleeves arranged for the not too distant future, 'especially for you' (as Jason Donovan once said!)...
The Phantoms 'Cavern'... The band will be making their fourth appearance at the Fighting Cocks on Saturday 4th June. See the gigs section (gig#23) for further datails. We are celebrating our return to the Cocks with a chance for you to win a pair of free tickets to the gig! All you have to do is enter our 'Cocks caption competition'. Click here for details.
Grey Horse... It's been two years since the band last played at this excellent venue (without our boy from Brampton!) but he's on board this time round and so the full line up will be appearing at the Grey Horse in Kingston on Saturday 17th September. More details in the gigs section (gig#24).
Back to school... The biggest gig of the year for the band will then be on Thursday 22nd September when the Phantoms travel to Loughborough University to entertain an estimated captive audience of 1700 sweaty civil servants at the 2005 CSSC Games. This is one not to be missed & you may even get the chance to join the Phants mixed rounders team! See gig#25 in the gigs section for further details.
How many chins... Since adding the fantastic new graphic to the home page (based on the artwork from Blur's greatest hits CD), our keyboard wizard has been moaning about being depicted as the only one of us with more than one chin! Well I'm sorry Jon but as Bucks Fizz famously said 'the camera never lies', click here for the proof.

10 December 04. Pics Galore... Your photo's have been flooding in. Check out the 'Gig Pics B' link on the gig #19 page to see additional photos of the Bigg Man & The Phants from the Fighting Cocks on 27th Nov. As well as these, Paul Baden's fantastic shots of both Ruffcut & The Phantoms at the Xmas Party last Friday are also now available from the gig #20 page. Enjoy...
Happy Christmas... With 6 gigs in the bag, 2004 turned out to be a busy year for the Phantoms. On behalf of the band, I would like to thank you for all the support you have given us over the past 12 months & I look forward to seeing you at a future gig sometime next year. We have a couple of private parties booked over the next couple of months but hope to be back at the Cocks sometime in the Spring. See you then... Merry Christmas & a happy new year. Roll on 2005...
Jazztastic... So there is life after the Phantoms! Click here for details of the first date of ex-Phantom Helen's residency at the Ram Jam Club, Kingston. Hurry, tickets are selling out fast. Nice...

6 December 04. Phestive phrolics!... The Phantoms 20th live appearance & final gig of the year (infront of a 120 strong crowd) turned out to be a roaring success with the band delivering one of their best performances in recent memory! See gig #20 for more info.

29 November 04. Cock record smashed!... Another personal best as a massive crowd of 95 punters show up to see the Phantoms (again aptly supported by the Bigg Man) at the Fighting Cocks pub. See the gigs section (gig #19) for full details of all the goings on & lots of top photos. 
Don't panic!... If you were unlucky enough to miss the last gig, you can see us again (along with our mates Ruffcut) this Friday. More details in the gigs section.

19 November 04. Entry #2... You may remember that a few months ago I asked all you Phantom phans to send in pictures of yourself in exotic locations wearing your Phantom t-shirts with the lure of a shoddy prize for the best one? Well, after telling Jools that Wales wasn't exotic enough when he submitted the one and only entry, his second attempt will definitely take some beating! Not only is he pictured under a ride called 'The Phantom' but he is also accompanied by our man in America, ex-Feltham boy Dave Nuttall! Click here to check it out. Can you beat this? 
Letter from America... Talking of Dave Nuttall, he recently wrote to tell us that whilst out shopping (wearing his prized Phantom t-shirt) at his little local supermarket in Huntsville, Alabama, the girl at the checkout recognised it! After enquiring how this could be possible, it turns out that she had been looking at our website!! First The Beatles cracked America, now it's the turn of The Phantoms! It seems international superstardom beckons!

10 November 04. Fever pitch... With the next Phantom appearance only days away (18 to be exact!) more bookings are already flooding in for the rest of the year and beyond! Check out the gigs section to see all the bands future commitments to date. 
It lives!... I'm sure Phans will be pleased to know that Brian has survived his operation and is well on the road to recovery (well, 'sofa to recovery' to be exact). 

27 October 04. Old Cock!... Some new (old) photos from the Phantoms second appearance at the Fighting Cocks have just come to light. See the 'Gig Pics #2' link on the gig 18 page. Big thanks to Jon's mate Jane for the pictures.

14 October 04. No new is good news!... I know it's been a while since we spoke but over the last few months the band have been busy in the rehearsal room working on a batch of great new songs. They're sounding pretty good (if I do say so myself!) but you can judge for yourself when we debut them at 'the Cocks' in just over a months time.
Good luck Bri!... Dr Spencer's long awaited operation (lobotomy?) is finally due to take place next week. He has requested that 'Phans'
refrain from getting him flowers when he goes into hospital. Apparently his consultant has advised that his convalescence will be best aided by laying around watching Horse Racing and drinking LAGER, so a collection for betting money/ Kronenbourg would be most appropriate.... I'm sure you will join us in wishing him the best of luck for a speedy recovery (especially as he has a gig to play on the 27th November!!!).

6 August 04. Christmas already?... Dates have now been finalised and you can next see your favourite band (The Phantoms in case you were wondering!) at the Fighting Cocks on Saturday 27th November (with The Bigg Man) and then at the Feltham Community Centre on Friday 3rd December (with Ruffcut). More details in the gigs section.

26 July 04. Talk to the Phantoms... Whilst on the subject of message boards, we have now set one up on this site (available on the internet only!). So if you would like to tell us what you really think, please log onto and let rip! For example, "you guy's are great!", "who is that good looking bloke behind the drums?", "is your lead singer gay?", etc, etc.

21 July 04. Spread the word... Thanks again to all of you who came along to support us at the last gig. If you would like to see us play there again, please let the pub know on the message board of their website at

20 July 04. Show us your cock!... Photos of the Phantoms (& the Bigg Man) live in the Cock Pit now online via the pics link of the gig #18 page.

19 July 04. Cock-a-hoop!... All box office records were smashed on Friday when a massive crowd of 78 adoring 'Phans' crammed into the sauna (otherwise known as the Cock Pit) to see the Phantoms and top new support act, the Bigg Man. See the gigs section (gig #18) for full details of yet another fantastic night at our new favourite venue (photos to follow soon).
See you in the Autumn... We are currently working on booking a few gigs for later in the year so watch this space for further details of our next couple of appearances. 

12 July 04. Cock-a-doodle-two!... The Phantoms eagerly awaited second appearance at the Fighting Cocks is rapidly approaching. The word on the street is that a big crowd is expected so arrive early to secure your spot in the mosh pit!
We can rebuild him!... After this gig the Phantoms will be enjoying a well earnt rest whilst 'Bionic' Brian recuperates from his spine replacement operation. This will at least ensure plenty of time to learn a load of new tunes to unleash on the 'Phans' later in the year. We hope to get a gig sometime in Oct/Nov (exact date/venue tbc) as a warm up for our usual Christmas gig on Friday 3rd December at the Feltham Community Centre.

24 June 04. Party pics... For those of you unlucky enough not to go, the photo's of the bands last gig at a private party in Chiswick are now online (see gig #17).
Phantom EP... The eagerly awaited Phantom EP (or Project 223 as its entitled) has at last been mixed and will be available soon.
Cock support... 'The Bigg Man' (aka Jason Biggs) has kindly agreed to support the band at their next appearance at the Fighting Cocks pub on Friday 16th July. He (and his acoustic guitar) will be on stage at 8PM sharp so get there early!

14 June 04. Hired guns... The Phantoms (with Helen temporarily back on board) wowed the party crowd (and the few 'Phans' that were lucky enough to sneak in!) at a private party at Chiswick over the weekend. The bands 'only 2 pints before a gig' rule was well and truly broken due to the birthday girl laying on free drinks all night but we still managed to belt out 2 full sets without too much falling over. See gig #17 for a brief report of the goings on!
What did you say?... Check out the new Phantom quotes page (on the clip/bookings section) to see a selection of comments from our adoring phans! (Note. These are only the nice ones as most of them are usually too rude or insulting to publish!!)

8 June 04. Project 223... Last night, with the aid of sound engineer Greg Tallent (honestly, that's his real name!!) the Phantoms recorded 3 tracks for their debut EP at a top recording studio in Kingston. The results are currently in the mix (as we say in the trade!) and 'Project 223' should be available soon. I bet you can't wait!

26 May 04. Cock up... Our next appearance at the Fighting Cocks that was to be on the 24th July has now been rescheduled for Friday 16th July. See the gigs section for further details.

20 May 04. Phar away... With the Summer holiday season rapidly approaching we are calling for all you phanatic Phantom phans to send in pictures of you in phar phlung exotic locations wearing your prized Phantom t-shirts. Some sort of shoddy prize will then be awarded to the best one. To start the ball rolling, click here to see Jool's effort.
Back by popular demand... Check out the gigs section for details of the next couple of Phantom appearances in June & July.
On Angelfield again... If a night of full on indie pop rocks your boat, then check out Brians 'real band', Angelfield at the half Moon in Putney on Friday 8th October. For more details go to All the Phants will be in attendance to cheer (boo) him on. Hope you can come along and join us too.
Jazz Nice!... Or if a chilled out evening of Jazz is more your style, go and see The RACC Jazz Singers (featuring ex-Phantom Helen) at Jagz Music Room (just outside Ascot train station) on Wednesday 26th May, starting at 8.30PM.

14 May 04. Phants, u r well phit!... Photos of the new look Phantoms live in the Cock Pit are now online via the pics link of the gig #16 page. Enjoy!

13 May 04. Cocks Out!... See the gigs section (gig #16) for full details of last nights triumphant appearance at the Fighting Cocks Pub (photos to follow soon). Arguably the Phantoms finest gig to date!! In fact, it went so well the management have already booked us for a return appearance sometime in July (exact date to follow). The band would personally like to say a huge thank you to all the Phans that made the effort to come along (on a school night!). You were all fantastic.

12 May 04. A (Wey)bridge too far... With the fighting cocks gig only hours away you can get yourself in the mood by checking out the pics from our last appearance at the Hand & Spear. See the gigs section.

26 April 04. Take it to the (Wey)bridge... Helens last gig with the band attracted over 100 'Phans' who flocked to the middle of nowhere to witness the Phantoms deliver a barn blazing couple of sets full of crowd pleasers. Well, they seemed pleased (especially the mystery bloke in the beret!) See the gigs section for more details (and pictures to follow soon).

22 April 04. Jazz...Nice!... The Phantoms sexy lead singer (no, not Mark!) is to quit the 'cheesy covers' scene to pursue her interests in the world of Jazz! Nice! Her final gig with the Phantoms will be this Saturday at the Hand & Spear in Weybridge. Hope you can come along and see her off with a bang! Oo er! 
Cock Fight... So, like a Phoenix from the flames, the new look 'boy band' (line-up #5) will be unveiled in the Cock Pit on 12th May. More info can be found on their website at

23 March 04. Hand Job Imminent!... The jinxed 15th gig is currently still on, we are rehearsing hard and look forward to seeing you all in a few weeks time.
Cock On!... For those of you that can't make the Hand & Spear gig (and for those of you that are mad enough to want to see us twice in as many months!), we are now also scheduled to appear at the Fighting Cocks Pub in Kingston on May 12th. More details in the gigs section.
Phantoms in the Studio... At last I hear you cry!! The Phants will be laying down their unique brand of 'indie punk power pop' (or 'noisy din' depending on your point of view!) at a local recording studio over the next couple of months. So watch out for the 'Phantoms Greatest Hits' collection appearing in a bargain bin near you very soon!

10 March 04. 2nd Time Lucky?... Now that the soundproofing work has been done (shut the back door!), the Hand & Spear gig is back on. The rescheduled date is Saturday 24th April. (As usual, see the gigs section for more details). Hope to see loads of you there.

3 March 04. Girls on Philm... To see a short video nasty of the Phantoms (and the crowd having it large) at the 2003 Xmas Party, check out the clip/bookings section. For those of you easily offended, don't worry, there's no sound!!

23 February 04Too Loud for Weybridge... After the cancellation of the Isle of Wight gigs it seems the Phantoms were destined not to play this weekend! The rescheduled gig at the Hand & Spear was also postponed at the 11th hour after the pub had a surprise visit form the Environmental Health Agency who revoked their music licence due to sound proofing problems. We tried to convince everyone that the real reason for the cancellation was due to safety reasons as they were expecting too many punters but nobody fell for that! Anyway, as soon as the work is done we are expecting to reschedule this gig. Sorry to those of you that ended up going to the pub for no reason but you probably got to leer at some young students so it wasn't a complete waste of time!!

5 February 04. How Rude!... Check out what the 'Rough Guide to Cult Pop' (page 79) has to say about the home of the Phantoms, click here.  Bloody cheek!

4 February 04. Hand Job!... It's official. To alleviate the disappointment for all those "Phans" who were looking forward to seeing the band in the IOW, the Phantoms will now be playing at the Hand & Spear Pub in Weybridge on Friday 20th Feb instead. (see the gigs section for more details).

30 January 04. Running Scared... It seems the threat of being publicly humiliated by the brilliance of The Phantoms at the CSSC Battle of the Bands proved too much for all the other entrants and the event has been called off at the last minute following the withdrawal from the competition of all our opposition. (The CSSC are planning to reschedule the event sometime in July at Chiswick). I guess the CSSC will be awarding us with the trophy anyway for being the only band left standing! Apologies to all our ardent followers who were planning to brave the icy shores of the Isle of Wight to cheer us on. But fear we have tons of songs rehearsed and ready to go we are looking into arranging a pub gig for the same time instead. More details to follow as things are finalised.

20 January 04. Happy New Year... Hope you all had a great Xmas and are looking forward to a phantastic new year with the Phants. We are currently working hard rehearsing a massive 33 song set list (including 2 brand new songs and loads of oldies we haven't played in years) for our next couple of appearances in the Isle of Wight on the 20th & 21st February (see the gigs section for more details). Rumours are also rife of a possible Summer gig at Brampton for all our phans "up North". Watch this space as events unfold.

9 December 03. Care(less) in the Community (Association)...  The Phants ripped it up at the FGSSA Xmas party and the big assemblage gave it back large... Well, that's how it probably was - nobody on stage could hear anything on account of the "unique" acoustic properties of this venue (see gig #14 for more info).  All roads now lead to Shepperton, for next Phriday's Phantoms Xmas Phantasy evening at The Red Lion.  All "real" phans are invited to join us for a heavy meal (and the chance to buy us a drink).  Cheers!

24 October 03. On the Horizon... See the gigs section of the website for further details of the next few Phantom appearances as well as a sneak preview of the possible set list for the Xmas gig (including 3 brand new songs and an old favourite not heard since our 2nd appearance!!). 

1 October 03. Sexy Pics... As promised, the eagerly awaited pictures from the Grey Horse gigs are now on-line (see gig #13) as well as the super cool looking black and white rehearsal shots taken whilst rehearsing the day before.

22 September 03. Kingston Kings... The Nov-less Phantoms ripped it up at the excellent Grey Horse, Kingston (our new favourite venue) last night, treating the Phaithful to 2 sets of 100% (er, 95%?) rocking gems.  Full review / pics appearing in gigs section soon.  Look out for upcoming pre-Xmas performances (to be announced).  We'll be working on a few new songs for these gigs - Phantom Phanatics will no doubt be hanging round the Music Room on Thursday afternoons in the hope of hearing a preview of these modern classics!

3 September 03. Another One Bites the Dust... Unlucky boys! Our glamorous lead singer (no, not Mark!) got married to our roadie Paul over the weekend. The 'Baden's' are now honeymooning far away from Feltham, but do not worry, H will be back in time for the next gig. Talking of the next gig, the Phantoms will again be performing with their trimmed down lineup as Jon forgot the date was his daughter's birthday and his wife won't let him come out to play!

26 August 03. Full House... People were actually turned away as the Phantoms packed the Red Lion for the first leg of the Coloured Animals Tour. See the gigs section for further details of this triumphant event.

20 August 03. Playing with the Big Boys... Check out the credits in sleeve of the new Elbow album 'Cast of Thousands' to see details of a guest vocal slot by one of the Phantoms on the track 'Grace Under Pressure'. No, really!

11 August 03. New Web Site Launched... Since the last Phantom site went off the air over two years ago, the band has seen four changes of lineup, rocked out to hoards of delirious 'Phans' at numerous live appearances and even earned themselves the title of "Best Band in the Civil Service" Wow! To read all about our adventures over the missing years and find out about future events in Phantom world, check out the new look Phantom web site. For those nostalgic Phans out there, click here to view the old web site.
The 'Coloured Animals' tour... The band have got a couple of gigs coming up, firstly at the Red Lion, Twickenham, on Saturday 23rd August, then at the Grey Horse on Sunday 21st September. Hope to see you there. See the gigs section for further details.
Battle of the Bands 04... The Phantoms are hoping to retain their crown at the next Civil Service Battle of the Bands, taking place 20th to 22nd February on the Isle of Wight. Click here for further details.
Logo competition... For non-work gigs we have decided to just call ourselves 'The Phantoms' as we don't want people being put off thinking we are a bunch of ruffians from Feltham (even though a couple of us are!) As a result, we need a new logo. If you have any ideas, please let us know. Our favourite design will then be appearing on gig posters up and down the land. Click here to view the previous band logos (and a couple of examples of possible new ones).

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